This Year's Emmys ROCKED!

The Emmys were last night and if I had to sum up this year's show in one word, it would be surprising. They were chock full of award upsets, unexpected performers, well-placed cameos, and almost completely devoid of bloat (okay, the middle section got a little boring, but I digress).

A tip o' the hat to the writers, producers, and host of this year's Emmys - Jimmy Fallon. The stage was set (so to speak) and the bar set high with an opening number featuring Bruce Springsteen's classic, "Born to Run". The sketch included not only Fallon and the Glee cast, but also Tina Fey, Betty White, Jon Hamm, Joel McHale, and...Jorge Garcia (!), all singing and shaking their money makers.

But don't just take my word for it - check out the sketch yourself.

Cameos ruled the night and were used effectively. The funniest one featured a faux conversation with the cast of Modern Family and the show's producer, who was pitching ideas of how to "spice up" the show. After a few suggestions were nixed, one that received a big thumbs up: When Phil dies, his widow Claire hooks up with Phil's dishy brother, played by none other than George Clooney. Shortly afterward, several "accidents" occur, with Gloria claiming George Clooney as her own (photo, above), and eventually George Clooney ends up in bed with--you guessed it--gay couple Cam and Mitchell.

There was no monologue, but Jimmy Fallon did very short guitar riffs where he introduced each section of the award show: comedy, drama, mini-series or movie, and reality. He got people in the audience to sing with him, including Amy Poehler, Kim Kardashian (not a bad singer!), Julianna Margulies, and Steve Colbert.

He parodied Elton John, among others in a send-off for shows leaving the air. The inside, inside joke that probably only diehard LOST fans know is that Matthew "Foxy" Fox and Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day are very good friends. Apparently Jimmy Fallon also knows this (or it was a VERY freaky coincidence) because for his send-off to LOST, Jimmy dressed up as Billie Joe and sang his version of Green Day's "Time of My Life" (photo, left).

Onstage, the presenters kept the banter short and for the most part witty. Co-presenters Jon Hamm and Betty White talked about their "sexual chemistry", with Betty hinting that things other than clothes got swapped in the changing area after the opening number.

The best presenter was my boy Ricky Gervais (slimmed down and looking, I have to say, quite hot), who very nearly stole the show with his banter. Amongst his riffs, one on Mel Gibson: "I'm not gonna have a go at him. He's been through a lot. [Pause] Not as much as the Jews, though." After he talked about his inability to get a beer backstage, he offered the entire audience a beer (The Office just went into syndication, drinks are on me, he explained). Waiters carrying longnecks on silver trays appeared out of nowhere and passed out drinks. Among those slugging back a cold one? Christine Baranski!

While shows like LOST and Glee garnered lots of nominations, LOST was shut out (a shande, a shande, I say!) and Glee was only 2 for 19, getting wins for actress Jane Lynch and directing for co-creator Ryan Murphy.

Amongst other surprises/upsets: Top Chef beat out perennial favorite Amazing Race for best reality show and Big Bang Theory Sheldon Parsons won over favored to win Steve Carrell for The Office. Perhaps the biggest surprise was Breaking Bad actor Aaron Paul grabbing an Emmy over the two-way horse race of Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn, both favored to win for LOST. I'm thinking that two LOST actors on the ballot split the vote, allowing Paul to win. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

The show kept a brisk pace and the only section that seemed to drag were the awards for Mini-Series or Movie (mainly because I had never seen nor heard of most of them). Winners kept their speeches short and Al Pacino was the only one that seemed to ramble. But that, like using insipid Twitter comments to introduce presenters, were minor missteps and didn't ruin an otherwise entertaining and memorable evening.

Tomorrow: the fashions! :)

What...A Brat

In 1992, Saturday Night Live featured a "Wayne's World" sketch comparing the Gore daughters (schwing!) to Chelsea Clinton ("not a fox").

It was reported that the Clinton's, particularly Hillary Clinton, was furious with SNL for what she considered to be "cruel and disrespectful" remarks towards her daughter (interestingly not a peep, though, from the Gore camp about "Wayne" saying their daughters were babes). The comments made in the sketch? Essentially that Chelsea was not an attractive girl. I'll let you be the judge.

Fast forward nearly twenty years, and little Chelsea is all grown up and engaged to be married this year. In what has to be the definition of irony, the now-swan Chelsea had a request of her father: lose weight.

I wouldn't have believed this story unless I had seen multiple articles reporting that Clinton relayed this story at a fiscal summit in DC. Not only did Chelsea basically call her Dad a pork-o, she demanded he lose 15 pounds. Or else what? He not walk her down the aisle? He not have the privilege of paying for the whole bloody wedding?

It's no secret that Bill Clinton has had an issue with poor diet and a struggle with weight. But his 2004 heart surgery appeared, at least to me, to put him on a good path. He lost a tremendous amount of weight and reported following a more healthy diet and exercise plan. Looking at recent pictures of him, it would be hard to categorize him as overweight.

If I were Bill Clinton, I'd tell Chelsea to go eff herself, drive myself to the nearest Burger King, and order a Triple Whopper Sandwich with Cheese and Mayo, named by Men's Health Magazine as the worst fast food burger out there. Bon Appetit!

Good Manners Never Gave Me Eight Million Dollars

Sunday is my favorite day of the week: a luxurious and lazy several hours sipping coffee, reading the paper, and doing the crossword puzzles. But alas, my respite was interrupted by my blood boiling after reading the profile piece on the Development Director over at the Pittsburgh Opera, John Federico. Federico, who, given his work history at many prestigious nonprofit's, clearly knows how fundraising works.

Which makes it all the more infuriating when he glibly distilled successful fundraising into one completely ludicrous soundbyte:

"...he believes his job really comes down to this: Say please and thank you [emphasis added]. At least that's what he tells aspiring young interns.

'If you're going to be a fundraiser and if your parents raised you right, you really should know the most important things to say by the time you're 5. If you can do those things, the rest is all polish.'"

Really, John, really? Successful fundraising comes down simply to having good manners?

If the absolute key to fundraising could be found in something so simple, every nonprofit in town would have pots overflowing with money. Hell, my parents raised me pretty well, and I am the champion thank you note writer, but somehow that prevented the nonprofit I started from swimming in money.

Mr. Federico and I both know that the secret to fundraising is not good manners. While Elsie Hillman might certainly appreciate a heartfelt thank you directed her way, that, my friend, will take you only so far. Successful fundraising relies many different things. If I had to choose one thing that will get you to the front of the proverbial pack, it's connections. No, make that relevant connections.

Connections and relationships are the key to fundraising. You need a board of directors, preferably ones with deep pockets, who know people who are connected and/or have deep pockets, who are articulate and enthusiastic and energetic who will sell, sell, sell your organization at every opportunity to anyone and everyone who could possibly get you money, positive exposure, or both.

You need to be a nonprofit that not only has a good reputation in the market, but one with a demonstrated track record amongst funders. It's like getting your first job: employers want experience, but to get experience you need to get a job. Getting that first grant is tough (from someone who started a nonprofit you'll have to trust me on this one), and it certainly helps to have a connected BOD or Executive Director, or--even better--someone you know at the philanthropic organization that's doling out the money.

Once you get connections, you have to constantly cultivate that relationship. Put them on your mailing list, invite them to events, take them out to lunch to get their thoughts about the organization, and make them feel like (I hate this word, but here it's applicable) a stakeholder. In short, make them feel included, and it's constant and ongoing, and way, way beyond a simple "please" and "thank you".

These days, it's increasingly difficult to get money, as even Federico admits. I give myself only a "C", because it's not my forte and success fundraising is really an art, based on a perfect storm of a lot of different factors. Maybe Federico's comments were meant to be self-effacing, but he knows as well as I do that a simple please and thank you alone aren't going to do it.

Academy Awards Wrap-Up

Last night was the Oscars and as far as awards shows go, it was fairly predictable. This year the night was co-hosted by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin (making their own fashion statement in a Snuggie, right).

Martin and Baldwin did an okay job at co-hosting, their camaraderie seemed forced at times. Tina Fey and Robert Downey, Jr. stole the show when they co-presented an award for writing: Fey represented the writers ("What does a writer look for an actor? Memorizing, not fear of improving") and Downey the actors ("It's a collaboration between handsome gifted people and sickly little mole people").

The only real surprise as awards go--and it was a minor one--was the Hurt Locker getting Oscars for Best Picture and Best Direction over front runner Avatar. Most of the speeches were fairly vanilla, except for Sandra Bullock, who has gained a reputation over this awards season for memorable speeches. In her speech, after recognizing her co-nominees and thanking the family upon which the Blind Side was based, she thanked "[the] moms who take care of the babies, no matter where they came from" and tearfully dedicated it to her mother, who died a few years ago of cancer.

I don't know about you, but despite warning winners to keep the speeches short, the producers need to take their own advice and trim the show. This year I would have omitted the opening number with Neal Patrick "Doogie" Harris, cut or trimmed the tribute to John Hughes (the way they went on, you would have thought Martin Scorsese died), and the singing and dance number for the nominated songs. The show ran over by quite a bit, bringing the total show to a bloated three hours and thirty minutes.

But the fashions--what an improvement from the Golden Globes! Nearly everyone did a fantastic job, especially the men (Ryan Reynolds and Tom Ford especially).

First the leading actress nominees:Sandra Bullock shone in a gold lame sheath dress with a lace bodice. Normally for a formal event such as this, I'm a big fan of the updo, but she wore her hair long and sleek, with a slight wave and it looked fantastic.

It is hard to believe Helen Mirren is in her sixties and she looked beautiful in a pale sequined sheath with sheer sleeves.

Like Bullock, Gabby Sidibe also wore her hair down and slightly curled and looked beautiful in a flowing Marchesa gown of blue chiffon crepe.

Carey Mulligan's gamine hair reminded me of Mia Farrow in the 60's and I give her points for wearing a fashion-forward black Prada, but the gown didn't work for me. The bodice and waistline was festooned with lots and lots of crystal and embellished doo-dahs, including miniature scissors (yeah, I didn't get it either) and the shortened hemline in the front wasn't working.

Finally, Meryl Streep glowed in a low-cut soft white jersey gown, complemented with flawless make-up and a sophisticated upsweep. White jersey is very difficult to wear and the 59 year old (!) rocked it.




Supporting actress nominees: Anna Kendrick wore a dusky pale pink Ellie Saab gown that worked with her pale skin and her soft updo with tendrils gave it a very Edwardian, romantic look.

Mo'Nique wore a draped and rouched strapless gown in a bright blue. And while I appreciated the gardenia as a tribute to Hattie McDaniel, I thought it didn't quite go with the gown.

Vera Farmiga wore a bold red dress that seemed to swallow her up. It was a beautifully constructed dress, but I would have liked much better if there were fewer pleated ruffles.

Another actress that chose red was Penelope Cruz, in a strapless burgundy draped dress with a slightly asymetrical bodice that gave a modern spin on a classic style.

Maggie Gyllenhall's hair and make-up was stunning, and while her gown fit beautifully on her, but I thought the abstract blue print was too informal.


Presenters and attendees: Queen Latifah gets an A+ in a perfectly fitted pink duchess satin gown with a row of crystal embellishments that complemented the gown, and Zoe Kravitz (daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz) looked like a dewy ingenue in a strapless gown in crimson and pale pink.

Finally, some disappointments: Zoe Saldana, a gorgeous girl wearing an unfortunate gown choice, Charlize Theron, usually a spot-on fashionista in a misstep here, and Sarah Jessica Parker in a strange Chanel gown with way, way too big hair.

Until next awards season, that's a wrap!

Where the Wild Things Are

When you get right down to it, there are really only two kinds of animals: wild animals and domesticated animals. Wild animals live on their own in their natural habitat while domesticated animals allow humans to live with them (at least that's what my cat tells me).

What I don't understand is why everyone is so dumbstruck over the death of Dawn Brancheau, a trainer at a Florida Sea World that was recently killed by a killer whale. I'm not minimizing this incident because the death of Brancheau is tragic, but it raises the question of whether it could have been preventable and the whole idea of trying to train and domesticate wild animals.

As the story of Brancheau's death and the killer whale (named Tilikum) in question unfolds, some disturbing details are emerging. According to published reports, this may very well have been an accident waiting to happen. Reports tie a total of three deaths to Tilikum over the last two decades, and yet this animal was permitted to participate in shows like the one at Sea World. Individuals in attendance for the morning performance featuring the killer whale reported that the whale seemed irritated and agitated, balking at performing tricks.

While Sea World reports that they will not allow trainers in the water with whales, the former head of animal training at Sea World has already rendered his own verdict on what happened: blame the trainer.

Yep, the fact that this animal has been a) plucked from its natural habitat, b) kept in a confined space, c) been forced to perform and do tricks had nothing to do with the trainer's death. In no way does the fact that this animal's hard-wired physiology makes it a killer. No, that has nothing to do with it. Right.

It is amazing that, with lots of training and conditioning, a person can train an animal to perform tricks with a flourish of a hand. But regardless of the relationship these trainers have--and how seemingly conditioned they are, or as real a bond as they've formed with their human caretakers--they are still a wild animal. You just can't erase thousands of years of evolution and change an animal into something it's not.

If you need further proof of this, Sigfried and Roy are a perfect example. These two men dedicated decades to the breeding and raising of Siberian tigers. By all accounts, men and beast co-habitated together amenably. But for a split second during a performance, a female tiger performing was triggered--by a sound, by a gesture, by something--and attacked and nearly killed Roy.

Even so-called domesticated animals can attack and kill. There seem to be regular reports about a dog attacking and mauling someone, in some cases without provocation. If we can't prevent what we consider domesticated animals from attacking, how can we expect wild animals?

Unfortunately, Las Vegas shows, attractions like Sea World, and even the circus are huge, money-making machines. I predict that Sea World will have its investigation, pronounce their training methods and animals as "safe" and the show--and all the revenue it generates--will go on.

But I can guarantee you that deaths like Brancheau will continue, because you just can't take the wild out of a wild animal--no matter how many fish treats you give it.

I Heart Ricky

Ricky Gervais, that is. Ricky presided over the Golden Globes this year and did a very good job. There were no dancing numbers, no superfluous tributes, no fluff, none (the Oscars could take a cue from how these awards are run). I love Ricky Gervais and his cheeky humor and was bowled over by the ad preceding awards night.

And Ricky was funny--schilling his DVD's (The Office, The Invention of Lying), all while guzzling from a glass of beer (hidden on a shelf in the podium, right). "Hey, everyone else is out there [in the audience] getting drunk, why shouldn't I?", he retorted at one point, as he took an especially big gulp.

But I don't know if the HFPA or the censors or the producers had a tight rein on him, because it didn't seem like he completely let loose. Frankly, the pre-award ads were hysterical, so I guess my expectations were similarly raised. His banter was funny, but not bust-gustingly funny. Ricky's humor has an edge (kind of like a smarmy British cousin of Conan O'Brien), unlike, say, Craig Ferguson, who pokes more gentle fun at people. So I could see why the PTB would tell him to tone it down. And speaking of Ferguson, I think would be a terrific host for next year's GG. But, I digress, and would give Ricky a B for his hosting.

Among the highlights of the night:

Mo'Nique received the first award for Supporting Actress in Precious, thanking Director Lee Daniels and her husband, with whom they pledged to each other that they would become famous actors one day. She concluded with a nod to the movie and its dealing with emotional and physical abuse and said "This is for everyone who has been touched...now is the time to stand up and say something."

Meryl Streep, who won for Julie and Julia, thanked her mother (who died last year), who she noted was a "marvelous cook" and served, along with Child, as her inspiration for the role. She expressed her mixed emotions at going to an event that could be seen by many as frivolous. But Meryl said she felt sure her mother would have told her to "give [to Haiti] as much as you can, do whatever you can, and go to the show grateful for the opportunity."

Robert Downey, Jr. gave the best speech, starting with, "Well, I'll tell who I'm not going to thank for this award, and that's my wife Susan [who was also a producer on Sherlock Holmes]. She told me at 10 o'clock this morning that I had no chance of winning so I didn't have to worry about writing any speech." His "not thanking" turned serious and very heartfelt, particularly when talking, indirectly, with the people that stood by him during tough times.

In her speech, Sandra Bullock told her relatives to "put down the Maker's Mark and get to bed." Like Downey, Bullock's speech started funny, then turned serious when thanking her husband, Jesse James: "It's no surprise to me that my work has gotten better in the past few years, and that's because of you, and I have you to thank."

Most of the award recipients were predictable, but one that drew gasps was when The Hangover won for best Comedy or Musical, beating out Nine, Julie & Julia, It's Complicated, and (500) Days of Summer. I know those HFPA correspondents are a little offbeat and kooky, but this was a shocker to me.

The pre-show was marred by rain, which did not allow much star lingering on the red carpet. The venue, the Beverly Hills Hilton, made in my mind a major blunder by not covering the red carpet. People: you know that it's going to rain and using clumsy BHH umbrellas to try to protect people from the rain didn't cut it.

As for the fashion, I was underwhelmed. Underwhelmed! Watching the awards shows last year, I was bowled over by so many beautiful dresses, but at the GG there were more strike outs than home runs. But I'll start with the good:

Kate Hudson got a lot of flak for her choice, a long white gown with a sculptural quality, but I liked it. The ruffle at the bodice softened the look, and the gown fit her perfectly. Her choice of jewelry--a dangling pair of pearl and diamond earrings--was just enough. I don't know how she walked in her shoes--platformed stilletos--but Kate is a petite thing, and the shoes definitely gave her a longer line.


Reese Witherspoon was a no-show on the red carpet due to the inclement weather, but viewers got a peek at her dress when she presented. A bright jeweled blue with the asymmetrical/one shoulder design that was very popular that night, I thought she looked young and fresh, but she looked a little too thin.

Speaking of young and fresh, Heather Graham was both in a long, black sequined halter dress with a plunging neckline. With her hair sleekly pulled back and with subtle makeup, she looked like a dewy ingenue.

Another "new generation" that I thought got it right was Ginnifer Goodwin. She, like many women, chose a cocktail-length dress, hers in a vibrant purple. But unlike many other people, who looked too casual, Ginnifer's look was an excellent spin on updated formal. She also had the asymmetrical/one shoulder look, but because how the fabric was fashioned, it literally gave the dress a new twist.

Jennifer Gardner strengthened her reputation as a fashion maven by choosing this sparkly one shoulder gown with an interesting sequined pattern. It fit her very well and she was one of the few women who wore her hair down without the hair looking limp.

Mo'Nique was glowing throughout the night but I didn't get the long, draped gown in a satin gold. It looked too much like a pair of drapes (remember that old Carol Burnett sketch "I saw it in the window and I just had to have it"?).

Mariah Carey exercised poor choice and complete lack of decorum in her waaaaay-too-revealing (and waay too tight) dress. Lots of women did plunging necklines, but Mariah's dress showed too much and the fit was not flattering.

It was great to see Tea Leone and David Dukovny out and together as a couple, but Tea's outfit was a bit of a head scratcher. She looked more like a soccer mom with a blue oxford cloth shirt (David's, maybe?) and a necklace that looked like pop beads (her daughter's maybe?).

Also, sadly, not looking her best was Julia Roberts, in a very casual, short black dress wearing a strange, Mr. T-style necklace. Her hair had that tousled, just got out of bed look, that went with the dress--if she had been going out to dinner rather than an awards show.

And finally, Drew Barrymore, one of my favorites glowed throughout the evening. Her dress, made especially for her by Donatella Versace, was a beautiful nude-pink tone that perfectly complemented her skin tone. But sadly, the Versace gown had these objects attached to the shoulder and waist that kind of looked like glittery porcupines. I like the idea of something sparkly on this dress, but a vintage brooch pinned to the shoulder or waist would be a less prickly alternative.

Speaking of prickly, that's all the barbs from me. I'll revert back to more non-fashion current events until the Oscars next month.

Re: Your LinkedIn Request...

Don: What a surprise it was, hearing from you after 15 years -- and asking me if I want to be your LinkedIn "friend". I didn't realize Hell had frozen over...backspace, backspace, delete, delete.

Don: Want to be my LinkedIn friend? I'll tell you where to get LinkedIn my friend, right in the gutter where you slithered in from...erase, erase, erase.

Don: Wow - so you want to catch up and see how I'm doing? Wow, that's actually acting like a human. So unlike our last exchange, when you broke up with me on the phone - remember that ? Oh, and my personal favorite, that the only reason you dated me was because there was so much "cool stuff" going on in my neighborhood? Ring a bell? Well, my "friend", you can go fuc...backspace, erase, backspace, erase.

Don: Good thing you didn't show up at my door asking to be my friend and good thing I don't keep a gun in my house because...okay crossed a line, delete, start over...

Don: Wow, a LinkedIn friend request. Is this your way, 15 years after the fact, to admitting that you might have actually been an absolute assho...let go of anger, backspace, erase, try again...

Don: Are you retarded, I mean really, and I mean that with no disrespect to people who are actually retarded, but did living south of the Mason-Dixon line scramble your brain in such a way that you thought, just for a moment, that I might actually want to exchange pleasantries with you?....not politically correct, erase, backspace, erase...

Don: Thanks for the LinkedIn request, but I think I'm going to pass. Thanks for thinking of me, though, and best of luck in your job search. Regards, Julie Okay, check for misspellings, residual anger, and...send!