What...A Brat

In 1992, Saturday Night Live featured a "Wayne's World" sketch comparing the Gore daughters (schwing!) to Chelsea Clinton ("not a fox").

It was reported that the Clinton's, particularly Hillary Clinton, was furious with SNL for what she considered to be "cruel and disrespectful" remarks towards her daughter (interestingly not a peep, though, from the Gore camp about "Wayne" saying their daughters were babes). The comments made in the sketch? Essentially that Chelsea was not an attractive girl. I'll let you be the judge.

Fast forward nearly twenty years, and little Chelsea is all grown up and engaged to be married this year. In what has to be the definition of irony, the now-swan Chelsea had a request of her father: lose weight.

I wouldn't have believed this story unless I had seen multiple articles reporting that Clinton relayed this story at a fiscal summit in DC. Not only did Chelsea basically call her Dad a pork-o, she demanded he lose 15 pounds. Or else what? He not walk her down the aisle? He not have the privilege of paying for the whole bloody wedding?

It's no secret that Bill Clinton has had an issue with poor diet and a struggle with weight. But his 2004 heart surgery appeared, at least to me, to put him on a good path. He lost a tremendous amount of weight and reported following a more healthy diet and exercise plan. Looking at recent pictures of him, it would be hard to categorize him as overweight.

If I were Bill Clinton, I'd tell Chelsea to go eff herself, drive myself to the nearest Burger King, and order a Triple Whopper Sandwich with Cheese and Mayo, named by Men's Health Magazine as the worst fast food burger out there. Bon Appetit!