Don: What a surprise it was, hearing from you after 15 years -- and asking me if I want to be your LinkedIn "friend". I didn't realize Hell had frozen over...backspace, backspace, delete, delete.Don: Want to be my LinkedIn friend? I'll tell you where to get LinkedIn my friend, right in the gutter where you slithered in from...erase, erase, erase.
Don: Wow - so you want to catch up and see how I'm doing? Wow, that's actually acting like a human. So unlike our last exchange, when you broke up with me on the phone - remember that ? Oh, and my personal favorite, that the only reason you dated me was because there was so much "cool stuff" going on in my neighborhood? Ring a bell? Well, my "friend", you can go fuc...backspace, erase, backspace, erase.
Don: Good thing you didn't show up at my door asking to be my friend and good thing I don't keep a gun in my house because...okay crossed a line, delete, start over...
Don: Wow, a LinkedIn friend request. Is this your way, 15 years after the fact, to admitting that you might have actually been an absolute assho...let go of anger, backspace, erase, try again...
Don: Are you retarded, I mean really, and I mean that with no disrespect to people who are actually retarded, but did living south of the Mason-Dixon line scramble your brain in such a way that you thought, just for a moment, that I might actually want to exchange pleasantries with you?....not politically correct, erase, backspace, erase...
Don: Thanks for the LinkedIn request, but I think I'm going to pass. Thanks for thinking of me, though, and best of luck in your job search. Regards, Julie Okay, check for misspellings, residual anger, and...send!
Don: a LinkedIn request? please send a check for $135 in a manilla envelope, addressed to me. once the check clears, i will determine if this is a sufficient amount of payment for your classic asshattery. if it is, then hello, old buddy! if it isnt (and it wont be), then youre screwed and can eat sh...[pause...thinking, thinking] ...it and die!
ReplyDeletefunny post! do you think he had some ulterior motive, or simply trying to be sorry?
Don always has a motive! :) Looking at his LinkedIn profile, it looks like he either quit his job or got laid off. I think he's reaching out to anyone who he thinks might give him job leads (we're in the same/similar field--marketing). Who knows if he feels sorry or not--it's a dialog I really don't want to start.
ReplyDeleteJules-so glad that you have your anger in check. I hope he reads your blog. HAHA
ReplyDelete